Walk by faith not by sight
Let go, Let God
Two phrases I have on repeat in my head on the regular - especially last month and this month. Fitness is my passion but it has never been my main job. For as long as I can remember I have always taught/trained people before a 9 to 5 job and also after a 9 to 5 job. I’ve had many 9 to 5 jobs but for the last 16 years I have been working as a graphic designer primarily in publishing. At one point I was full-time and then when I found Pilates I decided that I wanted to freelance so that I could teach/train more. Its been good - really good - for some reason freelancing, even though sometimes its basically a full-time job, it kinda gives me more of a sense of control - if I feel like working, I do - if I want to take a break, I take a break - I also can accept a job or not accept a job if I so choose. Sometimes due to my financial situation I don’t have those luxuries but it doesn’t feel like I am tied to any job that I take. This is all dandy but when you freelance nothing is guranteed really. These last 2 months for instance I wasn’t booked for 5 weeks - at all! I looked for work and...nada! Then I got booked but they only needed me for a week - grateful and also in hopes that they would extend me but...nope! Then at one point I was booked for 5 weeks and...totally fell thru. So...I’ve now been off for another 5 weeks again. I’ve been here one other time and kinda freaked out and got into a really negative space which did nothing good for me. This time I’m not gonna lie I tippy-toed into that same negative space a few times but then I remembered an affirmation from my Daily Word:
“I release old patterns, habits and beliefs. I am filled with confidence and courage”
With this in my head I took more deep breathes, released the negative thoughts and remembered to walk in faith and let go, let god. My mind was then filled with more divine ideas and also money found its way to me at the right times. Not saying it was easy but...During this time Studio 26 referred a client to me - she signed up for 10 sessions. One of my clients who only comes and pays per session surprised me and said she wanted to sign up for a package. That same client referred a photographer to me and suggested that I do a trade with him - new pictures (to use for my website, to post on Instagram and to use for e-mail blasts) in exchange for some training sessions. One of the managers at one of my favorite restaurants in my neighborhood expressed an interest in training and...she signed up for 10 sessions. Because I had time during the day I was able to train all of these new people without it interfering with my existing clients. During my time off I created a budget - made sure rent, bills, food and working out were my main goals that needed to be taken care of. I got really creative with my money - kinda made it to fun to be on a budget! And if I had extra funds I would treat myself - which ended up happening on a weekly basis. I also took naps, went to a few galleries with a friend (FREE!!!), went to the movies a couple times, began to meditate (Tapping), and so much more. One of the best things I did was pull out my Creative Visualization workbook. I had done the workbook years ago but decided to get a new one and re-do it. The book had been sitting on my coffee table for quite a while. Sitting there beacuse I was kinda scared to open it and I had no clue what I would write because I had no clue what I wanted to do. So again, I took a deep breath, released the fears that were over taking my thoughts and said my affirmations and...a whole heap of divine ideas began to flow - pen to paper and I couldn’t stop writing. From this I decided that I wasn’t happy with the ratio I currently had going - 70% freelance graphic design and 30% fitness - I wanted it to be in reverse - 70% fitness and 30% freelance graphic design. All this time off helped me realize I really enjoyed training people - a lot! And I want more of it in my life. I also have had in the back of my mind for a quite a while that I would love to try my hand at body part or fitness modeling - why not? Like I said once I started writing I couldn’t stop - I set my most important goals for the next month, the next 6 months and the next year. I know it will take some (most likely a lot) of work and I may slip into that negative space from time to time but...I am so hyped up! The possibilities seem limitless to me! And I am so ready to receive ALL my good! Because I AM deserving and worthy!
“Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.” —Corrie Ten Boom