I read the above quote in an article written by Stacy London on Refinery 29 (pretty damn awesome article about aging and style) and it got me to thinking about a conversation I had with a friend recently. While talking with my friend she said September was one of her favorite months because she felt it represented new beginnings. September, not January or May but September. I think I get why she choose that month but it got me to thinking about myself. I am CONSTANTLY having new beginnings - its a daily thing, a weekly thing, a monthly thing, a yearly thing, an ALL the time thing. And I am so grateful that god is a god of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th...chances and I have the opportunity to begin again. I have shared with you guys on multiple occasions about my issues with self worth, self confidence, self love, self, self, self - its almost pompous when I type it but...I pray, I meditate and I read countless books because I want to be who god intended me to be, go where he intended me to go and feel good while I am doing it. Lately I have been re-reading books. I feel like the last three that I have re-read came to me again at the right time. I re-read The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho - the ultimate test of faith - so beautiful! Also re-read Mastery of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz - I would just love for love to be oozing from every one of my pores - I have lot of love in me but not a lot of it is for myself - no bueno! The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz - 4 super challenging codes of conduct that will supposedly transform our lives to new experience of freedom, true happiness and love. All 3 of these books again came back into my life at the right time. I work on myself on a daily basis - sometimes it sticks and lots of times it doesn’t but re-reading these books kinda got me hyped and back on track. Even if I fall off track again its fine - I will continue to give thanks and praise that god created me in his likeness - knowing that is comforting - knowing that will help that light of love that burns inside me truly shine - brightly!!! Happy Neesie!!!
Here is a excerpt from The Four Agreements that really resonated with me and got me going.
Prayer for Love
We are going to share a beautiful dream together—a dream that you will love to have all of the time. In this dream you are in the middle of a beautiful, warm sunny day. You hear the birds, the wind, and a little river. You walk toward the river. At the edge of the river is an old man in meditation, and you see that out of his head comes a beautiful light of different colors. You try not to bother him, but he notices your presence and opens his eyes. He has the kind of eyes that are full of love and a big smile. You ask him how he is able to radiate all that beautiful light. You ask him if he can teach you to do what he is doing. He replies that many, many, years ago he asked the same question of his teacher.
The old man begins to tell you his story: “My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love.
“That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire—a fire that doesn’t burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally.
“But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love. I decided to put a little piece of my love in every tree, and the trees loved me back, and I became one with the trees, but my love did not stop, it grew more. I put a piece of love in every flower, in the grass, in the earth and they loved me back, and we became one. And my love grew more and more to love every animal in the world. They responded to my love and they loved me back, and we became one. But my love kept growing and growing.
“I put a piece of my love in every crystal, in every stone in the ground, in the dirt, in the metals, and they loved me back, and I became one with the earth. And then I decided to put my love in the water, in the oceans, in the rivers, in the rain, in the snow. And they loved me back and we became one. And still my love grew more and more. I decided to give my love to the air, to the wind. I felt a strong communion with the earth, with the wind, with the oceans, with nature, and my love grew and grew.
“I turned my head to the sky, to the sun, to the stars, and put a little piece of my love in every star, in the moon, in the sun, and they loved me back. And I became one with the moon and the sun and the stars, and my love kept growing and growing. And I put a little piece of my love in every human, and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am a part of everything, because I love.”
And then the old man opens his own chest, takes out his heart with that beautiful flame inside, and he puts that flame in your heart. And now that love is growing inside of you. Now you are one with the wind, with the water, with the stars, with all of nature, with all animals, and with all humans. You feel the heat and the light emanating from the flame in your heart. Out of your head shines a beautiful light of different colors. You are radiant with the glow of love and you pray:
Thank you, Creator of the Universe, for the gift of life you have given me. Thank you for giving me everything that I have ever truly needed. Thank you for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind. Thank you for living inside me with all your love, with your pure and boundless spirit, with your warm and radiant light.
Thank you for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go. I love you just the way you are, and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am. Help me to keep the love and the peace in my heart and to make that love a new way of life, that I may live in love the rest of my life. Amen.