Oh man! What a month! It seemed like forever ago that I entered Women’s Health Next Fitness Star competition (I believe it was December). Then came the cover/magazine shoot in March I believe. The magazine came out end of June and then...August finally arrives and its time...time to decide who will become The Next Fitness Star. The whole experience - every single bit of it was so fabulous. I met so many new people. Received support from so many people - more so from people that I didn’t even know, which I thought was amazing. Not a big deal to most but, I stepped outside of my comfort zone big time and posted the most I EVER have on Instagram. At first it stressed me out because what was I gonna post??? But I made a game out of it and tried to be creative and actually kind of enjoyed it. The funny part of all of this though was I posted on Instagram because I felt that I had to - it was what the other girls were doing - it was what the girls in past contest did. Instagram is such a huge platform (even I know that) so if I wanted a chance at winning (even if it stressed me out to begin with) it made sense. Now for the funny part...in my every day life though did I mention it? No. I think I can count the amount of times that I was the one to bring it up. I spoke about it if others mentioned it - no matter how uncomfortable I felt. I was beyond grateful for this experience so why not mention it any chance that I got? Why not celebrate the fact that I stepped outside of my comfort zone and did something that was...amazing? Why was sharing it on Instagram a “safe space” but real life...with people I know and love and who know and love me felt scary as hell? Why not celebrate me? Why not scream at the top of my lungs “I am one of the five finalist in Women’s Health Next Fitness Star competition”? On my plane ride to Los Angeles (where they announced the winner) I had a moment - got kinda sad - why am I always hiding? why do I act as though I am not worthy or deserving of greatness? why am I ALWAYS dimming my light?
A friend and I were talking once and he shared “The Parable of Talents” (Matthew 25:14-30) with me. In regards to me “dimming my light” he said that God has graced/granted/given us all dreams, passions, gifts, talents etc and burying these treasures, not sharing them, dimming them because of fear is not only selfish but its going against what God has intended for us all...GREATNESS! Just as if you were to give a gift to someone and then realize that the gift wasn’t used, liked or it was even re-gifted you might then think that person to be a thankless person. So I now imagine God - gracious and so giving and I look at the fear based choices I have made - does he think me thankless? Why should he grant me more dreams, passions, gifts or talents if I am burying them out of fear? I see only one way to rectify this - faithfully use all he has given me and scream at the top of my lungs I WAS ONE OF THE 5 FINALIST IN WOMEN’S HEALTH NEXT FITNESS STAR COMPETITION!!!
Pasage: Matthew 25:14-30:
14 “‘For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. 15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey. 16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. 17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. 18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord’s money. 19 After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them.
20 “‘So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, “Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.” 21 His lord said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” 22 He also who had received two talents came and said, “Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.” 23 His lord said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.”
24 “‘Then he who had received the one talent came and said, “Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.”
26 “‘But his lord answered and said to him, “You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. 27 So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.
29 “‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ ”